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孩子對待自己的情緒和環境的態度有很大部分是在家庭中形成的,可以說,父母的教養方式、家庭生活的氛圍,對孩子EQ的發展有著最關鍵性的影響。著名的心理學家諾爾蒂〈Dorothy Law Nolte,擅長於家庭動力學〉如此描述家庭環境與孩子成長的關係:

「如果孩子生活在羞辱的環境中,他就學會內疚;
如果孩子生活在鼓勵的環境中,他就學會自信;
如果孩子生活在批評的環境中,他就學會指責;
如果孩子生活在敵意的環境中,他就學會打架;
如果孩子生活在讚揚的環境中,他就學會抬高自己的身價;
如果孩子生活在公平的環境中,他就學會正義;
如果孩子生活在相互信任的環境中,他就學會信任他人;
如果孩子生活在讚許的環境中,他就學會自愛;
如果孩子生活在互相承認和友好的環境中,那麼他就學會在這個世界上尋找 愛。」

laennec【案例】

小濤今年讀小學三年級了,是一個有禮懂事的乖孩子。有一天他在家裡寫作業的時候,曬在陽臺上的衣服被樓上的李阿姨澆花給弄濕了。小濤爸爸立刻衝上去理論,並罵著走回來,嘴裡不停地數落鄰居的不是。小濤看著爸爸生氣的樣子,表情顯得有些複雜。

到了週末,對面張爺爺家的小狗在小濤家門口小便。小濤看見後立即破口大罵起來,說小狗把他家的門口弄髒了,非要張爺爺洗乾淨。這讓張爺爺哭笑不得,也令小濤的爸爸大吃一驚。爸爸沒有想到,他的一舉一動會被小濤看在眼裡、記在心裡。日後若有類似情況發生,小濤就會以爸爸的行為做準則,依樣畫葫蘆,甚至有過之而無不及。

孩子,是父母的一面鏡子。他之所以沒有父母想像中那樣的好脾氣,很多時候是因為父母本身也沒有那樣好的修養。laennec像小濤的例子,父母與他人發生衝突的時候,最好能避免在孩子面前與對方理論;若實在無法避開,父母的行為和語言必須要有所收斂。事後,還應該對孩子分析事情的對錯,教孩子別犯對方所犯的錯誤。

只要我們留心觀察,就會發現孩子是天生的學習者。他們不僅接受父母教給他們的東西,而且還會有意或無意地模仿父母的語言和行為,有時甚至是情緒化地表達。在父母婚姻美滿幸福的家庭裡,孩子會跟著父親學習擔當,跟著母親學習細膩、善解人意,在和諧寧靜的環境裡成熟自己的心智……這樣的孩子長大成人後才會有高EQ,他的人生也將會有一個高遠寬闊的天地。

A large part of children's attitude towards their own emotions and environment is formed in the family. It can be said that the parenting style and family life atmosphere have the most crucial influence on the development of children's EQ. The famous psychologist Norty Law Nolte, who specializes in family dynamics, describes the relationship between family environment and child growth:

laennec"If a child lives in a humiliating environment, he learns guilt;
If the child lives in an environment of encouragement, he learns to be confident;
If the child lives in a critical environment, he learns to blame;
If the child lives in a hostile environment, he learns to fight;
If the child lives in a praising environment, he learns to raise his worth;
If a child lives in a fair environment, he learns justice;
If a child lives in a mutually trusting environment, he learns to trust others;
If the child lives in an environment of approval, he learns to love himself;
If the child lives in a mutually confessed and friendly environment, then he learns to look for love in this world. "

[case]

Xiao Tao is in the third grade of elementary school this year. He is a polite child. One day when he was writing homework at home, the clothes on the balcony were wetted by the flowers of Aunt Li, who was upstairs. Xiaotao’s father immediately rushed to the theory and walked back, not counting the neighbors. Xiao Tao looked at his father's angry look, his expression was a bit complicated.

On the weekend, the puppy of the grandfather’s house opposite to Xiao’s family urinated at the door of Xiaotao’s house. Xiao Tao immediately smashed and saw the puppy smudge the door of his house. He had to wash his grandfather. This made Grandpa Zhang laugh and cry, and also surprised Xiaotao’s father. Dad didn't think that his every move would be seen by Xiao Tao in his eyes and in his heart. If there is a similar situation in the future, Xiao Tao will follow the father's behavior as a guideline, and draw the gourd as it is, even worse.

The child is a mirror of the parents. The reason why he does not have the good temper of his parents, is often because the parents themselves do not have such a good cultivation. In the case of Xiaotao, when parents conflict with others, it is best to avoid the theory of the other side in front of the child; if it is impossible to avoid, the behavior and language of the parents must converge. After the event, you should also analyze the right or wrong of the child and teach the child not to make the mistakes made by the other party.

As long as we pay attention to it, we will find that the child is a natural learner. They not only accept what their parents teach them, but they also intentionally or unintentionally imitate the language and behavior of their parents, sometimes even emotionally. In a family where parents have a happy marriage, the child will follow his father's learning, learn the delicate and understanding of the mother, and mature his mind in a harmonious and peaceful environment. Such a child will have a high EQ when he grows up. The life will also have a high and wide world.

Laennec is the ethical drug manufactured with JBP’s unique technologies.

laennecLaennec is the ethical drug manufactured with JBP’s unique technologies for effective extraction of variety of growth factors, cytokines, and other physiologically active substances from the human placenta. For instance, HGF (hepatocyte growth factor) promotes the proliferation of hepatic parenchymal cells for recovery of a damaged liver. Our product safety is ensured by the most rigid safety measures among existing scientific standards.

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